On July 21, 1969, Neil Armstrong realized he forgot his Geekshow Flag as he was stepping out of the Apollo Lunar Module Eagle. Unfortunately, someone in Houston had sent him to the Moon with a vastly inferior and largely less inclusive banner. Don’t be Armstrong. In fact, buy three so that you always have one handy! Perfect to bring to functions you never want to be invited back to again, including weddings, funerals, bar and bat mitzvahs, team building exercises, my neice’s quinceañera, and family vacations. Also works as a blanket, tablecloth, banner, standard, emblem, pennant, ensign, ciborium, veil, scarf, bunting, toga, or, you know, a flag.

“While touring Alcatraz, I realized it had been commandeered by a crack group of former military special operatives. Using just a portion of my naturally gifted skill and guile, I escaped into the tunnels where I tied a Geekshow flag around my neck like a cape and ran into a facsimile of a certain aging Double-O Agent. During one of our many subsequent adventures, I was able to diffuse all but one rocket, which I was still able to divert away from downtown San Francisco before it exploded harmlessly over the Pacific Ocean, and the cut-rate Faux Bond said he and the civilized world were in my debt. As I turned to rejoin the tourists on the ferry, he yelled, ‘Jusht one Moore thing! Wheresh didsh yoush getsh that flaugsh?’ Unfortunately, my reply was washed away like tears in the rain over the gentle hum of the ferry’s motor. Why am I telling you this story? Not for personal aggrandizement nor adulation. Maybe love? Respect? Maybe, like Lincoln, the esteem of my fellow man? No, nothing so crass. Instead, it’s simply the same reason we’ve done our show for free for over 15 years: pure and unadulterated greed. Be what a second-rate Bond can only dream of being. Buy a flag now.” – Leigh

Little known fact: This is what James Lawrence was talking about. Never let yours be lowered.

Rated for up to Category 5 hurricanes.¹

¹This has not been tested or verified in any way shape or form, and you should never use it in a Category 5 hurricane. Do everything you can to avoid those. But if you do find yourself in one, tie this bad boy around your neck and, if you survive, let us know what happens.