Finally — affirmations for the rest of us! If you find typical affirmations trite, grating, or even downright delusional, you're not alone. The world is wired for pain, and just getting out of bed each day is a challenge for most sane, rational people. This is why we set out to create affirmation decks that push back against the tidal wave of unrealistic nonsense Big Positivity keeps trying to sell us when we have ears, eyes, and functioning frontal lobes — existence is mid at best, and we need affirmations that acknowledge this fact.

The Deluxe Affirmations Bundle includes:

1. Haunting Affirmations: 52 morbidly motivational quotes that serve as an alternative to the trite toxic positivity featured in traditional affirmation decks — perfect for setting your intention before a big work meeting or stressful family gathering. Printed on thick card stock with midnight blue & antique silver ink with a satiny finish, shipped in a stylish luxe box that's so gorgeous you'll want to make it a centerpiece of your home decor, whether you favor crypts, mausoleums, caskets, or the watery abyss of a Viking funeral. Includes a sturdy wooden display stand.
   
   
2. Cynical Affirmations: 52 wryly sarcastic and relatable quotes that serve as an amusing alternative to the trite toxic positivity featured in traditional affirmation decks — perfect for the sort of person who's more of a storm cloud than a ray of sunshine. Printed on thick card stock with soft floral imagery in juxtaposition with the snarky sentiments and a satiny matte finish, shipped in a similarly adorable yet subtly sarcastic box that's so cute you'll want to make it a centerpiece of your living space. Includes a sturdy wooden display stand.
   
   
3. Sinister Affirmations: 52 hilariously dark and empowering quotes that serve as an alternative to the trite toxic positivity featured in traditional affirmation decks — perfect for setting your intention before a big work meeting or stressful family gathering. Printed on thick card stock with black & rose gold ink with a satiny finish, shipped in a stylish luxe box that's so gorgeous you'll want to make it a centerpiece of your home decor, whether you live in a castle, a gingerbread house, or a chicken-legged hut in the woods. Includes a sturdy wooden display stand (painted black, naturally — it does go with everything, after all).