Rendered in the warm, wholesome style of a mid-century children's book: three kids, one pentagram, and a winged elder god arriving right on schedule. The instructions were clear. The kids followed them perfectly. That is the problem.

• Soft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size
• Screen-printed in the USA with premium ink
• Machine wash cold, tumble dry low

Cosmic horror, but make it a fun after-school activity.