A single red earthworm curls against gothic florals while blackletter type poses the only question that has ever truly mattered in a relationship: wouldst thou still adore me were I but an earthworm? Answer carefully. It is listening.

• Soft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size
• Screen-printed in the USA with premium ink
• Machine wash cold, tumble dry low

There is only one correct answer, and you know it.