The pun is doing real work here. Doomscrolling: you, on your phone. Adding Doom to a scroll: a dedicated wizard preparing cursed parchment for the next adventuring party. Both activities involve hunching for hours and feeling worse afterward. Only one of them gets you XP.

• Soft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size
• Screen-printed in the USA with premium ink
• Machine wash cold, tumble dry low

For people whose Saturday is a campaign and whose Monday is a recovery roll.