Save time yelling these words out the window with these stickers! Resthaven was the funeral home in the greater Northbridge area for more than 40 years before those awful Deaddie boys set up shop. They don't know the first thing about Northbridge and they're just in it for the money. You can tell by looking at them. With their weird, dead eyes and exact same haircuts.

They haven't formed the kinds of community relationships we have. We care about our people. We know our people. We've gently laid to rest so many of your family members with respect and dignity. These Deaddie boys just showed up one day. Said they're from "down South." Probably on the run. They're up to something.

No one knows exactly how many of them there are. There's the old man Clarence and we know two of the boys are named Zaffrey and Zedrick but there's at least six of them because we seen them all acting as pall bearers for a funeral this one time. No one knew whose funeral it was for and it seemed like the Deaddie boys were the only ones in attendance. I think it was them finally having a funeral for the matriarch of the family, who no one ever saw. Lord knows what happened to her. No one ever saw a woman with them, just a loud old man and at least a half dozen identical large, silent boys with the same haircuts.  Maybe they were just having a practice funeral but there wasn't even a fresh grave after that.

And, they're all terrible drivers. Brent from Ernie's Towing told me he has to pull one of their hearses out of a ditch at least once a week. Apparently their limo broke in half a couple months ago and is held together with chicken wire and a half decent paint job. I can't be sure about that though.

Are their prices on average 10% lower than ours? Sure they are. But guaranteed you're getting 50% worse service. The boys don't even talk. Some people say they were born with no tongues, or something happened to their tongues. Clarence is the only one who speaks to customers. If you want to save a little money and show up to the funeral in a muddy hearse or 20 year old crooked limo with a bunch of large, dead-eyed boys with all the same haircuts then by all means go with Deaddie. But if you want a quality funeral from people who care about you and your loved ones, you're gonna want the Resthaven Advantage.

I wasn't even gonna say anything because even to accuse this is against our code of ethics unless you're 1000% sure but there's a pretty solid rumor they do weird stuff with the bodies. 

Sticker Info: Available as one big 10.5x3" (or 11.5x3") thick, heavy duty, all-weather vinyl stickers or 3 not-quite-as-thick indoor/outdoor vinyl 5.5x1.5" stickers. Almost too good to be true.