Somebody has to finish last. And that somebody deserves to be remembered — permanently, publicly, and in antique bronze.

Behold: a toilet. Mid-flush. With a trophy cup circling the drain, which is the single most accurate depiction of your league's worst season ever committed to resin. It's tacky. It's magnificent. It's the only award in sports where the recipient has to physically carry it to their car while making eye contact with no one.

• 6" of solid resin shame, finished in a rich antique bronze so it looks almost respectable from across the room — right up until you get closer
• Laser-engraved plaque on the front, with up to 3 lines of text for the loser's information. Name, year, final record, a nickname they'll never escape — your call. Engraving is forever, and so is this
• A trophy swirling down the bowl, because nothing captures "I started a player on bye week" quite like it
• Sits proudly on a mantle, a desk, or the loser's toilet tank, where it belongs

Hand it out at the draft. Make them keep it all year. Watch how much harder everyone plays in Week 14 when this thing is on the table.

Winning is temporary. This is engraved.